I just touched my toes during a sitting “touch your toes!” stretch for the first time … in probably ever. As it turns out, the key was not to directly touch my toes, but to understand stretching.
On prior stretches, I would do as directed. When the instructor said “Touch your toes!”, I would bend over and reach as far towards my toes as possible. In hindsight, I would look for the position of my body and muscles that allowed me to get as close to my toes as possible. It was never all that close. More importantly, there was no way to progress with this strategy. I was stuck, hilariously far from my toes.
In the last week or so I started doing stretching exercises as part of a broader effort to find my own value, my secret surplus, after feeling way too drained for way too long. These stretches were not done to follow anyone’s directive (“Touch your toes!”). They were not done for any real purpose, such as becoming more flexible. They were not done for any apparent reason at all.
And so I was able to actually observe my body. Because I was not focused on achieving an objective, I was able to notice that slight changes to my position would change the tension in my muscles. Because I was not focused on some time goal, I was able to notice that sometimes a muscle would relax and relieve tension without affecting my position. Putting this together, I now know that the purpose of stretching is not to avoid tension, but to find it. To learn the relaxation of muscles that are not necessary to hold a position. After not trying to touch my toes, but instead just relaxing my body for my own reasons, my toes were comfortably within my reach.
There is probably a lesson here about premature optimization, or goal seeking, or learning, or something. I can’t tell you about it. It is impossible to understand while optimizing and it would not be your value, your secret surplus, if I told you to do it. But if, in your own moments, you also observe those little side paths that actually go somewhere and actually mean something to you, I am all ears.
Nice! This reminds me of when I realized that working out was not about finding the most energy-efficient ways to “get through” an interval. Rather, it’s about finding the weaknesses in your body that hinder that kind of efficiency in regular daily activity and deliberately working them to strengthen them.
I’m pretty confident this extends beyond physical pursuits, too. I’ll keep thinking about it and looking for these side paths in all the things I do! Thanks!